A new chapter

Ok so I came out to Dubuque, Ia just to visit for the weekend. While I was here I decided to stay, with just a few changes of clothes and not much else. So just like that I now live in Iowa. I am looking for a job, lets just hope I can find one soon. I already have a place to live, thanks to the kindness of a friend of mine, Micah Young. But for any of you that would do me this favor, i could use a lot of prayer. Prayer for a job, a change in attitude, a drive and the discipline to get the things done that I need to do and that I could figure out a way to get all of my stuff out here. So here's to a new chapter in my life!

Why.!.!.!.!

Ah! You got to love Nebraska. Oh wait no you don't. The empty, god-forsaken, boring, waste of everything Nebraska. In case you can't tell I really don't like Nebraska. The only thing that makes it bearable is good music, but sadly there is none of that when you cousin is listening to Britany Spears, (Jason playing it, not Erin suprisingly). So yes here I sit stuck driving through Nebraska. But it will all be worth it when I get to see my friends in Dubuque.

ZOMG SNOW!!!

I love snow. I really do. I can't fathom how people don't like snow.

My brother...

Today is the 8 year anniversary of my brothers death. As I look back on these past years, there has been a lot that has happened. There has been new life that has joined us and some that have gone to be with their maker. But the thing that I still can't wrap my mind around is the fact that it all has seemed like a dream. Now when I say that I mean I can't seem to differentiate between whether or not before or after he died is the dream. I have my distant memories of the 14 years that I spent with him, but those are sadly fading. Not fading to the point that I will ever forget him but fading to the point of not being able to remember the sound of his voice. Now the dream as I start to think about it, is after he died. The reason being is that it has gone by so fast. I mean 8 years, where did it go? It all seems like a couple of weeks or months at the most. Now on to the important thing about this blog post, my brother. He was a handful for my parents growing up, but with the grace of God they did it and they did an amazing job. Although, finding out that he had A.D.D was a huge help. Now picking on his little sister and brother that was probably one of his favorite things to do, not as much as basketball, but he still enjoyed it. And as bad as this sounds i think that was (with his A.D.D) his way of showing us that he cared. But once he got his A.D.D under control, he showed us he cared the right way. He was loving and caring and will be missed by a lot of people as long as they live. But the on thing that keeps us going, and gives us hope is that we will see him again, when we go home to see our maker as well.

In loving memory of,

Joel Michael Koenig

6-16-79 to 10-20-01

You Will Never Know


You will never know how much I miss you
Every day I think about you
Even though you are in a better place
It's hard for me to forget your face

You will never know how much I care
Now that you are not there
The pain is almost to much to bear
Now with with all the times we will not share

You will never get to see
What the future will be
All the good times and the bad
All the times we could have had

But you will always know what you mean to me
And as I cry and wipe my eyes
I remember that you will always be
In heaven smiling as you watch over me

Standing up for myself

Why does it seem like all of my friends think that I owe them something? Or that they can just use me and get away with it? I want to stand up for myself, believe me I do, but I just can't find it in myself to stand up and say "Knock it the hell off." Or "Stop making excuses, be a man and take responsibility for your actions." Or "When you say you are going to do something FREAKING DO IT." But sadly I can't, as much as I want to I can't. The funny thing is that a lot of the time my friends when I do confront them they turn it around on me and I'm the one who ends up apologizing, thinking to myself "What the hell just happened?" I think that it is time I cut a lot of ties that I have in my life, get rid of these one sided friendships, if you will. Now don't get me wrong there are two sides to every story and you are more likely to side with yourself, but come on I know when I'm in the wrong and I would just like others to realize when they are and actually admit it and deal with it, instead of writing me off or making excuses.

First post woo hoo...

This is just a test. I'm seeing if I have what it takes to write a blog or if anyone will read it... does anyone really care what I have to say? Well any way we'll see. You may now return to your regularly scheduled program.